Student satellite to be launched

Launch date set for next year, if they can get out of bed.

Coffee aroma alone 'enough to wake up'

Coffee aroma alarm clock to follow.

'Witch' family killed in India

Harry Potter Tour cancelled amid current fears.

Winehouse performs for Abramovich

Russian billionaire flies in a fix.

BMW workers in temporary lay-off

Workers get a Mini break because of Spanish fuel protests.

Public toilets axed to save cash

Council saves a penny so you can't spend one.

Police warning over laughing gas

Nitrous oxide is no laughing matter, say Police.

Police hand out free pizzas

Fat kids don't steal mentality tested.

David Cameron heckled in Cornwall

Tory leader heckled over Labour's health policies. Free eye test wanted.

Young to get £7,000 for training

Failure at school to be rewarded if you return.

Final Skynet satellite launched

Terminators due by 2011.

Kelly cleared over child sex tape

Singer asks for his tape back after trial ends.

Australian bank sees shares slump

Australian bank's value goes down under.

Car damages local council offices

Driver gets no further than reception because of no appointment.

Free sun cream for city homeless

Sunscreen to solve Wales' socioeconomic problems.

Martin walks out of BBC interview

Chris Martin gives Radio 4 the cold shoulder.

Spain treats child phone addicts

Children unhappy at being unable to phone home from clinic.

Church 'comeback' for Latin mass

Hocine tibi habeas iocum?

Experts unveil 'cloak of silence'

Maxwell Smart to get cone update.