Rapper traumatised by gun arrest

No more rapping about guns then; only bitches and homosexuals to go.

Indian workers detained in UAE

Slave revolt in UAE emirate over poor food.

Fathers protest on Harman's roof

The sequel, never as good as the original, but still worth watching.

Brown has 'true grit' says Harman

...And sh!t for brains.

Spears films 'secret' Madonna vid

Spears to feature in 'secret' Grandma-donna good parenting video.

Newspaper defends Mosley article

News of the World creates new Mosley article to accompany 'a', 'an' and 'the'; for example 'Mosley Nazi found in Chile'.

Iran missile test 'provocative'

US finds phallic Iran missile sexually arousing.

Rabbit ripper shocks Germany

Dr Death returns to Germany from Chile.

More over 70s 'are enjoying sex'

Huge group sex sessions becoming more popular.

Beijing 'failing pollution test'

Human Rights test results already in - failed.

Call for specialist rape squads

Sick request sends shivers down the spine, and it's not Zimbabwe this time.