Des and Dot lead showbiz honours

Des O'Connor rewarded for years of cruelty.

Anger at Anglican gay 'wedding'

Traditionalists upset at not getting an invite.

Fears over nuclear weapon plans

Words you don't want to hear from Iranian version of Blue Peter: "... And here's one I made earlier".

Transformer causes traffic delays

Optimus Prime causes road delays.

Mobile fingerprint plan revealed

"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on." The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam.

More secret files found on train

Secret files outlining how to improve security of MoD documents found on train.

Demonstration over toll charges

Attempts made to keep Scousers in Liverpool.

Driver survives 100ft cliff fall

Shortest dog walk in history ends in tears. (The dog's ok by the way).

Couple escape petrol bomb attack

Northern Irishman chooses weekend of fuel strikes for attempted murder.

Gardeners warned over wood mould

M Night Shyamalan's 'The Happening' explained.

Bush compliments Sarkozy on wife

Journalists mix up words in news story title; "Sarkozy compliments wife on Bush"